The Mechanical Tube of Nachos

Today, we honor the unsung hero of desks and doodles—the mechanical pencil—by creating its greasy spiritual successor:

The Mechanical Tube of Nachos™.

Imagine a sleek, tubular vessel not unlike a Pringles can—but engineered for indulgence. Inside: a perfectly stacked column of individually loaded nacho bites. Each chip lovingly layered with precision-shaved meats, atomized queso dust, and emotion-stabilized jalapeño slivers.

But here’s where it gets truly visionary (or stupid—same thing, really):

Like mechanical pencils, these tubes are technically refillable. We sell a variety of insertable Flavor Cores:
- Beef Graphite™ – smoky, savory, rich
- Spicy Chicken Lead™ – tangy, aggressive, deeply personal
- Nacho Supreme No. 2™ – the classic
- Veggie HB™ – a crunchy guilt-delayer for plant-based thinkers

Each “tube” dispenses a new nacho with every click, rotating flavors like a snack kaleidoscope. The tech is excessive. The engineering pointless. The result? Flawless.

Naturally, nobody refills them. We just throw the tubes away and buy new ones. Because we’re humans. Because capitalism whispers, “Treat yo’ self.”

So go ahead—click, crunch, toss. Repeat. The planet will be fine (probably). But your cravings? Absolutely demolished.