Crispy, Charcoal, and a Little Emotionally Unavailable

Can nachos brood? These do. They’re dark, dramatic, and probably listen to Bauhaus when no one’s watching. Welcome to Midnight Nachos, the most goth thing to happen to your snack table since someone blacked out the sour cream.

This glorious mess starts with black tortilla chips—dyed with activated charcoal, not your soul (though we did check). Then comes a smoky blackberry-chipotle jam that walks the fine line between sweet and sinister. Over that, melted smoked gouda oozes with a certain ennui, and just for fun (and Instagram), we dust it with a hint of edible silver glitter. It’s like prom night at a vampire coven—but you can dip it in cheese.

Midnight Nachos aren’t here to cheer you up. They’re here to sit with you in silence while you spiral—in velvety gouda grief. Eat them under candlelight. Pair them with a blood-red wine. Or consume them solo on the kitchen floor while contemplating the futility of cheese. These nachos won’t judge you. They’re too busy being iconic.

Image created using DALL-E.