High Tea, Higher Crunch

There’s something beautifully unhinged about pairing a centuries-old ritual of civility with a tray of tortilla chips. Welcome to High Tea, Higher Crunch—a nacho experience for the emotionally overcaffeinated and spiritually underfed.

We begin with mini chips—yes, tiny nachos. They fit daintily on your favorite floral china. Each is adorned with absurdly delicate toppings: cucumber-mint salsa, smoked salmon rosettes, a whisper of crème fraîche, and microgreens pretending to know what they're doing.

On the side? A soft-boiled egg, because apparently that’s a thing at tea. Also: pink Himalayan salt you don’t need but feel superior for having. Optional garnish: edible flowers. Bonus points if you serve them while wearing a fascinator and judging your guests.

Do they taste good? Debatable. Do they look like someone dipped charcuterie in the concept of brunch? Absolutely.

And that’s the point. These nachos aren’t here to nourish you.
They’re here to sit next to your Earl Grey and make eye contact while you spill gossip about the neighbors.

Because on National Tea Day, we keep it steeped, salty, and ever-so-slightly snide.

Image created using DALL·E.