Nacho Warranty Fine Print

The following terms and conditions constitute the entire and exclusive warranty agreement governing the consumption, enjoyment, and possible outcomes associated with nachos. This document is written in legally binding language you will not read carefully, but are nonetheless agreeing to by continuing to eat.

Coverage begins at the moment of serving and expires immediately thereafter. Any structural integrity observed at the time of delivery is considered cosmetic and not indicative of long-term performance.

This warranty does not cover:

• Melted cheese after the first thirty seconds
• Chips that appear sturdy but collapse under light pressure
• Any topping migration caused by gravity, heat, or optimism
• “Just one more bite” scenarios

Cheese separation is considered normal wear and tear. Pooling, congealing, stretching, or choosing a new texture mid-meal are not defects, but features.

Nachos exposed to air, steam, lids, containers, transport, or time are no longer eligible for evaluation. Nachos intended for delivery void this warranty automatically.

No claims may be filed for soggy centers, cold edges, or the sudden realization that you should have eaten faster. Emotional distress related to the final chips is not covered.

By continuing to eat, you acknowledge that you were never promised longevity. Only immediacy.