Nachos That Heal You, Probably

Have you ever chewed with such intention that you felt... healed?

Welcome to Holistic Crunch Therapy—a deeply unaccredited, completely unverifiable method of realigning your life one nacho at a time. Based on no known science and driven entirely by gut instinct (and hunger), it’s the ancient art of applying snack energy to spiritual wounds.

It starts with the crunch. Not just any crunch—a mindful, grounding, slow-motion crunch. The kind that vibrates through your teeth, into your jaw, and down your spine. That’s not just sound. That’s emotional release.

Next: cheese. Melted, golden, unapologetic. The cheese represents warmth, connection, the gooey middle of your life that sometimes gets overlooked. Add guac, the green balm of the soul. Add salsa, the truth serum. Each layer speaks to a different chakra. Jalapeños open the third eye. (Also your sinuses.)

But here’s the real secret: even if it’s just chips and dairy, even if you’re totally making this up—it still works. That’s the beauty of placebo. You believe the nachos are realigning your energy? Congratulations. You’re healed. That’s mind-body-snack synergy, baby.

Some light candles. Some chant mantras.
I crunch. I chew. I feel.

Image created using DALL·E.