One Chip to Rule Them All

On this day, we honor the master of epic journeys — J.R.R. Tolkien — and I can think of no better way to celebrate than with a quest of my own: to find the perfect nacho chip.

Legends say it exists — one chip to rule them all, forged in the fires of a kitchen broiler, strong enough to bear the weight of cheese, guac, and destiny. Most chips crumble under pressure. Some break halfway through the dip, others betray you with premature sogginess. But somewhere out there, there’s a chip that can endure. A chip with structural integrity and just the right balance of crunch and soul.

I imagine it glowing faintly in the bag, humming with potential, waiting for a worthy hand. The toppings will test it — molten cheese, dense guac, even that one friend who insists on stacking everything into a single bite. But the true chip will not yield. It will hold.

I haven’t found it yet, but I believe it’s real. And when I do, I’ll know. The cheese will shimmer, the salsa will part, and somewhere deep inside, a voice will whisper, “My precious.”