The Forbidden Nachos

They weren’t supposed to happen.
It’s midnight. You’re in your underwear. The fridge light is casting judgment. And there you are—half asleep, half possessed, fully committed—building nachos like a raccoon with a culinary degree.

Welcome to National Underwear Day, celebrated the only way that makes sense: by making The Forbidden Nachos.

These aren’t Pinterest nachos. These are shovel-it-straight-from-the-pan nachos. These are use whatever’s in arm’s reach nachos. These are eat them standing over the sink while a single tear slides down your cheek nachos.

Build of Shame (and Glory):
• Chips: Half a bag of stale Cool Ranch? Perfect.
• Cheese: A Kraft single. Torn with your bare hands.
• Protein: That one meatball from three nights ago. Sliced. Probably fine.
• Veggies: If it crunches and isn’t fuzzy, it’s a garnish.
• Sauce: Ketchup? Mustard? Sweet chili? Mix them. This is your truth.
• Microwave: 1 minute on HIGH. Then another. Then another. Then regret.

Eat them quickly, silently, and with the awareness that you’ll do it again tomorrow.

Nachos don’t judge you. And neither do we. Happy National Underwear Day.