The Freon Fiesta Platter: Stay Cool When the AC Quits

There is a sacred, unbreakable law of the universe: your air conditioner will fail only on the hottest, most soul-melting day of the year. Don’t fight it. Accept it. Prepare for it. And when the temperature spikes and your HVAC ghosts you harder than a flaky ex, there’s only one way to cope: cool nachos.

The Freon Fiesta Platter is your culinary revenge—a sub-zero nacho spread designed to chill your palate and your rage. We’re talking crisp blue corn chips (the cool-toned ones, obviously), topped with lime-poached shrimp, cucumber pico, cilantro drizzle, and avocado crema that’s been chilling in the fridge like it owns the place. No oven, no stove, and absolutely no need to increase the ambient suffering.

Bonus: it pairs beautifully with ice-cold margaritas and the sound of you yelling at a customer service bot while sweating through your eyebrows. Just don’t skimp on the lime—acid is your only weapon against the heat and creeping despair.

So while your house channels the surface of the sun, let your nachos bring you back to the land of the livable. Cold comfort never tasted this satisfying.