The Nacho Alarm Clock

Somewhere between my third snooze and my fourth bad idea of the morning, I started thinking: what if waking up didn’t feel like punishment? What if it came with cheese?

Thus, the Nacho Alarm Clock.

Picture it: a slightly retro, half-kitchen-appliance, half-timepiece contraption that looks like a cross between a bedside radio and a diner griddle. Chrome knobs, orange digital numbers, and a miniature warming tray built right into the top. A little hatch flips open when it’s time to wake up, releasing the faint hiss of melted cheese and the smell of progress. Inside, a rotating arm distributes toppings with the precision of a robot that’s seen too much.

When the alarm goes off, it doesn’t buzz — it sizzles. The cheese begins to bubble, the jalapeños tumble into place, and a cheerful recorded voice announces: “Rise. Shine. Crunch.” There’s no snooze button, because you can’t argue with a machine that’s already preheated.

It’s the perfect blend of innovation and self-sabotage — a gadget that guarantees you’ll start your day on time, but also covered in queso. I’ll probably never build it, but if I did, I’d keep it right next to the bed. Not for punctuality. For hope.