The Nacho Cleanse

It’s the first day of a new year, and everyone’s talking about cleanses. Juice cleanses. Digital detoxes. Spiritual resets. I’ve decided to try my own — The Nacho Cleanse. Seven days. One purpose: achieve clarity through cheese, delivered faithfully by nachos.

Today begins with optimism and a full tray. The cheese melts in golden waves, binding the chips together like intention. It feels spiritual, in the way that only something slightly unhealthy can. I can already sense the path ahead — not just a week of eating nachos, but a full emotional migration. By day three, the cheese might start offering unsolicited advice. By day five, the jalapeños will test my courage. By day seven, I expect either peace or medical attention.

For now, it’s calm. The nachos sit before me, glowing softly, promising revelation one crunch at a time. I don’t know if this cleanse will purify anything except my pantry, but I trust the process. Because if there’s one thing I know, it’s that clarity rarely comes from denial — it comes from fully loaded nachos and the willingness to see what happens next.