The Season of Cheese and Questionable Ideas

It started the way most of my festive ideas do, with too much cheese and not enough planning. Somewhere between “I’ll mail cards this year” and “Oh look, nachos,” I gave up on writing heartfelt messages and started doodling snack-based nonsense instead.

That’s how the nacho holiday card line was born. The world didn’t need another glitter-covered reindeer, but it did need “Elf on the Nacho,” a card featuring a tiny elf riding a chip into chaos. Inside, it simply says, “Keeping watch for double-dippers since 2012.” Simple. Honest. Slightly deranged.

Then there’s “Baby, It’s Cold Outside — Warm Up With Cheese.” Cozy, borderline seductive, and just the right amount of wrong. Inside, it reads, “The only blanket I need is melted cheese.” Because if you can’t get emotional about dairy in December, when can you?

And of course, “Deck the Halls with Bowls of Salsa.” It’s festive, it’s messy, and it’s the only one that might actually start a party. Inside: “Fa la la la la… pass the chips.”

They’re not sentimental. They’re snack-timental. The kind of cards that make sense when you’re full, tired, and leaning into the chaos of the season. Because at this point, the holidays aren’t about being perfect — they’re about showing up with something crunchy and calling it love.

So no, I didn’t mail out traditional cards this year. But if one of these lands in your mailbox, know it came from the heart — and probably through a small grease stain.