Utility Belt Nachos

Batman has batarangs, grappling hooks, and smoke bombs. I’ve got jalapeños, guacamole, and an emergency stash of shredded cheese. And tell me, which one actually saves the night? Because if I’m trapped in a back alley or just another endless staff meeting, I’d rather reach for a salsa capsule than another brooding monologue.

The utility belt is about readiness, and nachos embody that. They’re flexible. Improvised. A chip scoops what needs scooping, carries what needs carrying, and sometimes breaks under pressure — which, honestly, is the most relatable superhero arc I’ve ever seen. One pouch for sour cream squirts, another for guac grenades, and a hidden compartment for chips that refuse to crumble until the moment is dramatically inconvenient.

What makes nachos heroic isn’t just their flavor. It’s their timing. They arrive in the chaos of the night, scattered, messy, and still exactly what you need. Gotham can keep its billionaire vigilante — I’ll take the nacho knight in greasy armor, loaded with toppings and ready to fight hunger wherever it strikes.

Because justice may be blind, but it’s definitely hungry.