Road Trip Nachos: A Snack Map of America

There’s a romance to the open road: the endless horizon, the questionable gas station bathrooms, the deeply questionable snack choices.
Today, we chart a new course—powered entirely by melted cheese and regret.

Because any real road trip worth doing doesn’t just happen.
Step 1: Acquire a personalized license plate that simply says “NACHOS.” (Bonus points if your DMV clerk visibly questions your life choices.)
Step 2: Build a master Google Map marking every legendary nacho stop across the country—then spend an irresponsible number of hours sending it to friends at 2 a.m. with captions like “someday.”

This is not just a trip.
It’s a nacho pilgrimage.

We start in Texas with smoked brisket nachos—tender, peppery, unapologetic. Swing up to Wisconsin for fried cheese curd nachos, because moderation is for people without strong dairy opinions. Slide across to the Carolinas for pulled pork and tangy slaw nachos. Detour briefly to Maine, where lobster nachos might happen if you squint hard enough. End in California with avocado-drenched, salsa-flooded sunshine nachos. Each region, a new topping. Each bite, a new bad decision.

And before you ask—yes, this is a major step up from some of my past road trip experiments.
Once, in a moment of deeply flawed optimism, I bought a roadside egg salad sandwich. I’m still recovering.
Say what you want about nachos—they don’t try to kill you with mayonnaise.

Because this isn’t just a plate of nachos.
It’s a plate of America.
Messy, brilliant, slightly burned, and covered in queso.

And that’s exactly how we like it.

Image created using DALL·E.