The Nachos You Need for Cutting Ties

“What’s the perfect snack for cutting ties? Nachos, obviously.”

It’s National Unfriend Day, a time to cleanse your social circle, your energy, and—most importantly—your plate. Enter: Bye Felicia Nachos, the ultimate metaphorical snack for saying goodbye to the people who never liked your posts but somehow always commented on your typos. These nachos aren’t just food; they’re a deliciously dramatic statement.

The Ingredients of Unfriending

1. Pulled Pork (Ghosted Pork)
Slow-cooked and shredded, just like the effort you made in a friendship that was never reciprocated. Pulled pork is the ultimate ghosting protein—sweet, smoky, and absolutely done with the nonsense.

2. Crispy Onion “Boundaries”
Because healthy friendships need layers, and sometimes you just need a satisfying crunch to cut through the drama.

3. Jalapeños of Judgment
These fiery little toppings bring the heat, much like your internal monologue when you finally hit “unfriend.” Spicy, bold, and entirely unapologetic.

4. Saucy Chipotle Goodbye Drizzle
A smoky, tangy finish to represent the message you never sent but definitely composed in your Notes app. Smooth, dramatic, and just saucy enough to make you feel fabulous.

5. Breadcrumb Trails
Scattered across the plate, these crumbs symbolize the subtle hints you dropped along the way. They weren’t paying attention then, and they’re not in your feed now.

6. Corn of Second Chances *(Burnt, Obviously)*
These charred kernels remind everyone that second chances were given—and promptly ruined. You don’t need that energy in your life (or on your nachos).

7. Guac of Greatness *(Extra, Always)*
Yes, you’re extra. Yes, you’re thriving. This creamy, green goodness is here to remind you that you’re a 10 and deserve better friends (and better nachos).

8. Crushed Dorito Dust of Chaos
For that extra crunch of unpredictable energy, because every friendship breakup deserves a little flair. Sprinkle liberally, like confetti at your own private celebration.

Bye Felicia Nachos: A Statement and a Snack

This isn’t just a plate of nachos; it’s a self-care exercise wrapped in crispy chips and gooey cheese. So, gather your chips, layer them with emotional clarity (and toppings), and raise a crunchy bite to the freedom of unfriending. Because nachos are forever, and toxic connections are not.

Image created using DALL-E.